


Between Rabbit Feet and Black Cats

by ashamtly



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Touya, M/M, Magic, Protective Yue/Yukito, Romance, Touya-centric, more than likely - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashamtly/pseuds/ashamtly
Summary: -TOUYA!- Yuki´s frantic cry, was the last thing he heard just before the headlights of the truck completely blindsided him and his world turned to black.In hindsight..., he should have seen this coming.(Yukito might not be as in with all the supernatural goings of Tomoeda, but he´s pretty sure that something is going on, now if he could just convince Yue to give it a look or To-ya to tell him what he knows! But be it one way or the other, one thing is for sure, he´s not about to lose his most important person just because he doesn´t have himself figured out)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So... apparenttly once you start writing fanfiction you can´t stop.  
> Anyhow I have wanted to write a CCS fic for the longest time but I never had the guts to post anything. But now after watching the new CCS series here I am! deciding to give it a go.  
> Anyhow, this fic is canon complain ´cause I´m basically writing from the original series finale, and as you already read is Touya-centric ´cause he´s pretty much my favorite character and I feel he deserves more screen time!  
> Anyhow, some other characters might appear or be mentioned, but... this is pretty much all about Touya, Yukito and Yue (but mainly Touya and his relationship with them)  
> Also be warned English isn´t my native language, I have no beta and this is story is just a plot bunny so... I´m not sure how often I´l update, but... if you still want to read, any comments and feedback will be appreciated (it´s just my third fic jeje)

-TOUYA!- Yuki´s frantic cry, was the last thing he heard just before the headlights of the truck completely blindsided him and his world turned to black.  
In hindsight..., he should have seen this coming.

But... in his defense, it all started with small things, so small that he didn´t even notice anything, to begin with. 

Things like insisting Sakura takes an umbrella, just because; stopping by his father´s office ´cause for some reason, he made too much food (and usually there´s not such a thing as too much food with someone like Yuki by his side); deciding on a whim to take a cat he found on his way to work with him, and oh! so coincidentally finding out it´s the missing pet of one of his coworkers.

So... though he sometimes feels like doing things for no apparent reason, and somehow always knows who is entering the house or calling (before they speak without needing to turn around, nor see the name on his screen), he doesn´t really pay it any mind, after all... it´s so small and far from what he used to be able to do, that somehow it doesn´t occur to him to tell anything nor stop and seriously think about it.

*And there´s also that "feeling"..., that tells him he shouldn´t say anything, to anyone, not yet, not never... 

Therefore..., while there´s a tiny little voice on the back of his mind (that suspiciously sounds like what he thinks Yue and Yuki would sound combined) nagging him to say something, he pretty much ignores it, ´cause it´s nothing big, it´s nothing serious, and he really doesn´t think it´s worth mentioning.

But voice or no voice, "feeling" or no "feeling", thinking back on it, he definitely should have been ready for something like this, weeks after he woke up from that nightmare....


	2. It Starts with a Dream...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was difficult for Touya to describe his relationship with Yuki, a year ago he would have called him his best friend, and while he still was his best friend, he was also so much more. Yuki, of course, knew it, ´cause nothing said ´I have feelings for you´ like giving up the power to see and speak to your dead mother for the sake of your most important person, and... while Touya have been pretty sure and secure about Yukito´s feelings for him before the whole power transfer thing...

\- NO!- a young man woke up with a shout on his lips, shaking from cold but with sweat on his face and hands trying to push something or someone away from him.

And though the details of the dream were already scaping him..., the icy cold feeling of dread didn´t seem to be able to leave him alone, as well as the shaking.

The usually stoic Kinomota Touya looked around his room frantically, trying to shake off that oppressive feeling of despair that his dream had left him with...

-Brother- someone knocked at his door, someone who sounded just like his sister Sakura -are you ok?- but somehow he just "knew" wasn´t her.  
\- Ye... Yes!, I´m... ok- he replied once he had finally managed to get his breathing into some semblance of control, though still unable to get warmed up and stop the shaking of his body  
-Are you sure?- his "sister" asked again with that inflection in her voice, that just confirmed his suspicions.  
\- Yeah... don´t worry Mirror...- he answered calmer, ´cause for some reason knowing he was right about "her", managed to comfort him - I just had... a bad dream...-  
-Ah! How... I mean...- the voice at the other side of the door sounded now flustered, managing to tear out a smile out of him  
-Mirror- he interrupted her rambling -It´s ok, I won´t tell anyone if you don´t either-  
-But...- she hesitated, undoubtedly still worried  
-Good night- he said not ungently -and sorry for worrying you-  
-Good night, big brother...- whispered the girl before "leaving"

But try as he might, Touya couldn´t sleep again, ´cause though the shaking had finally stopped, and his breathing was back to normal, that icy cold feeling still lingered, so much that there was nothing else he wanted to do more than pick up the phone and call...

-Stop being so childish- he admonished himself - you're not the monster- Touya told himself while laying his head on his knees.

The young Kinomoto wasn´t sure of how much time he spent like that, sitting on his bed with his head being supported by his knees and hair hiding his face, but it must have been quite a long time ´cause when he least expected it, the alarm he usually never let ring started doing just that, while flickers of golden sun started to leak through the curtains of his window.

-I guess I better get up then- he told himself, trying to return to his normal semblance but still... unable to shake off the cold.

 

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

  
When he finally managed to get himself to the kitchen, his father was already there finishing breakfast **.**

-Touya! Are you feeling ok?- Fujitaka asked without really looking at his face, while putting the plates on the table -you´re usually up earlier- he said.  
-I´m ok, just...- he hesitated for a second feeling the cold intensify once more.  
-You do seem to be a little pale- his father said, looking at him with concern; which prompted Touya more to get himself under control, after all, he didn´t want to worry his father over a simple nightmare.  
-I´m ok Dad, just didn´t sleep well last night- which wasn't really a lie.  
-Nightmares?- His dad asked still concerned  
-Not really- answer Touya helping his father to finish setting the table -just...- he tried to explain it -not a good night- he ended up saying, unable and unwilling to dig deeper into it, luckily for him, before his father could inquire more, a ruckus upstair distracted them.  
-Late! it´s late, late, laaaateeeee!- yelled a frantic Sakura, running down the stairs  
-Good morning Sakura- greeted Fujitaka with a smile  
-Morning!- greeted Sakura running into the kitchen and then into the living room -Dad! Have you seen my-  
-Under the tea table!- yelled Touya sitting down to eat his breakfast, though honestly, he didn´t feel like eating.  
-Found it!- announced a happy Sakura entering the kitchen and finally sitting down to eat -thank you brother- she said -but how did you know I was looking for...-  
-I just imagine a monster like you would have left her book lying somewhere under the tea table- interrupted her Touya with a smug smile  
-I AM NOT A MONSTER!- yelled an upset Sakura stuffing her mouth with some pancakes, just as he expected  
-You sure about that? ´cause I think only a monster would eat like that- He smiled even more just to wince and double over in pain after receiving a kick on his shin, to which Sakura just turned her head still upset  
-You sure you´re ok Touya?- asked his father once again concerned  
-Yeah...- answered him Touya still a little winded "that monster is starting to hit harder and harder"  
-Maybe you should stay home today, or call in sick to your work. You always push yourself too much, I don´t want you to suddenly collapse like a year ago- expressed Fujitaka, to which both Kinomoto sibling winced  
-Are you feeling sick brother?- asked a now concerned Sakura with some sadness in her voice. After all, she knew exactly why Touya had collapsed last year, and though her brother didn´t use to get sick, the same couldn´t be said about now...  
-I´m ok, don´t worry about it- Touya was quick to answer her while stealing a strawberry from her plate, waiting for her to...  
-Are you sure?- she asked again, this time not falling for his distraction  
-I´m sure- he answered seriously, while also standing up and patting her head - I should be going anyway, Yuki must be waiting for me-  
-But you didn´t finish breakfast- said Fujitaka, to which Touya answered by grabbing some pancakes  
-I´ll finish eating on my way, see you- and with that the young Kinomoto left, leaving his father and sister a little concerned about his well-being.

 

*****

*****

*****

*****

 

It wasn´t as if Touya wanted to worry his father and sister, quite the opposite really, so he had to go, ´cause he just knew that if he stayed for a minute longer, somehow the two of them would guilt trip him into staying home and honestly, the last thing he needed after that... dream? was to be by himself and think about it.

´Cause..., though he had thought that the cold would leave him after stepping outside into the sun, he was wrongly mistaken.  
With every step, he took closer to Yuki and therefore school, that dreaded feeling that made him almost shiver only seemed to grow.

-TO-YA!- happily greeted his... Yukito, momentarily scaring away the dread and the cold.

It was difficult for Touya to describe his relationship with Yuki, a year ago he would have called him his best friend, and while he still was his best friend, he was also so much more. Yuki, of course, knew it, ´cause nothing said ´I have feelings for you´ like giving up the power to see and speak to your dead mother for the sake of your most important person, and... while Touya have been pretty sure and secure about Yukito´s feelings for him before the whole power transfer thing... he hadn´t be so sure after that, ´cause there was also Yue to be consider.

-Morning Yuki- he greeted him -sorry for making you wait- he said  
-It´s ok, I haven´t been here that long- he answered him -but is unusual for you to arrive at this time, did something happen?- Yukito asked, though... for a moment Touya could swear it was the moon guardian who was watching him with seriousness from his best friend´s eyes.  
-Everything´s ok, don´t fret about it- he answered him -here- Touya stuffed the pancakes he had taken into Yuki´s mouth, effectively bringing ´him´ back  
-fanku thoua, bibu bab babeem?-  
-Yes, my dad made them and don´t speak with your mouth full- and just like that, they were back to their usual banter and idle chatter.

It wasn´t that he didn´t want to speak to Yue, or at least it wasn´t entirely that. ´Cause he knew or at least he thought he knew that Yue cared (at least a little bit) for him, after all, though he was his sister´s guardian, Touya had forgotten how many times the moon guardian had gone to his rescue or have cards like the Dark, the Dream, and the Ilussion look after him (Mirror just did it on her own); but... the problem was that Yue himself wasn´t happy about it

 

_"THE MISTRESS SHOULD BE MY PRIORITY! NO..."_

 

Yeah..., he really didn´t want to think about that, and had in fact, been doing his best to forget that conversation ever happened, which...

 

-To-ya?-asked Yukito, pulling him out of his thoughts  
-Eh?- asked now the young Kinomoto kind of lost, noticing for the first time that they had arrived at school  
-Are you sure you´re ok? You seem a little out of it-  
-Yeah, don´t worry about it- he answered quickly avoiding looking directly into Yuki´s eyes, ´cause in moments like this..., sometimes (most of the time) he could swear Yue was also...

 

Ok, so he might have been trying to avoid Yue.

 

-Well... you don´t seem to have a fever- suddenly Yukito´s was invading his personal space and had his hand laying on top of Touya´s forehead, to which he couldn´t help but blush instantly  
-I told you I was ok- he said, taking the hand on his forehead into his own hand and holding it -you don´t have to worry- he assured him with a small smile  
-You know- answered Tsukishiro with a smile of his own -one day you´re going to learn that telling people not to worry just make them worry even more- he said using his other hand to ruffle Touya´s hair.  
-Yeah, well..-

Whatever he was going to tell Yuki at that moment, was forgotten when the chilly feeling of dread that had been following him since the early morning transformed into an icy cold doom.  
Quickly as if something were pulling him, Touya turned to look to his right were a pregnant Sumi sensei was walking.  
Not understanding quite well what would set off that feeling, he continued to look around until...

-Touya, are you...- before Yukito could finish his question, the young Kinomoto took off running in Sumi´s sensei direction, hoping he would make it in time or that his ´insticts´were wrong for once.

But..., just as he made it to Sumi´s sensei´s side, he knew he was right.  
The impact he received between his shoulder blade and back neck was somehow expected, but not less painful, and though he wanted to pass out (after all, he had petty much only slept for an hour or two), first he had to make sure Sumi sensei was alright.

-Sensei, were you hurt?- asked Touya letting her go (he had covered her in a hug in order to protect her from the flowerpot that had seemingly fallen from the 2nd floor where two students had been fighting). He was vaguely conscious of people yelling and moving around, the girls that had been fighting crying, Yuki yelling his name and moving in their direction, as well as something, dripping down his back (blood?); but at that moment his priority was Sumi sensei...  
-I... I...- trying to take a good look at her, and finding it somehow difficult, Touya could see that the woman was ok, if not a little shaken.  
-TOUYA!-Yuki had finally arrived to his side and he looked... had his eyes always been that deep... he wondered -Touya!- Yukito tried to pull his attention taking him carefully by the shoulder, but..., it was to late, Touya was already drifting...

 

 _"It will be alright"_ , he thought, Sumi sensei hadn´t been hurt and Yuki could take care of the rest, he was stronger than he seemed.

 

-TOUYA!- Yuki was once more in front of him (when had he moved?) looking a little frantic. He didn´t want him to look like that, ever, but before he could do anything to reassure him his body finally gave up and his world started to turn to black..., but at least, that dreadful cold had disappeared.

Trying to look into Yukito´s eyes one more time (not caring if he saw Yue in them, maybe wanting to), Touya found himself looking to his left and finding... _**white and ice blue**_... 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... apparently I´m incapable of sticking to a plot idea I initially have, so... here´s this?  
> I hope it still is to someone´s liking. Anyhow as I previously mentioned I´m kind of jut winging this so... again I´m not sure when the net update will be but... at least I think know I have got an idea of where I´m going or want to go with this so... that´s something, right?  
> Anyhow, hope you enjoy it, any feedback will be welcome, ´til next time


	3. The Rabbit Ponders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... as terrible as it sounded, Yukito had been glad Touya lost his powers, even happy he would dare say, and then...., Touya had started anticipating stuff again, Yue was for some reason upset, and now... the boy he loved was lying unconscious in his arms...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... a little of Yukito´s POV, I´m not sure how on character he is since it´s been a long time since I last watched CCS and there hasn´t been a lot of these two in clear-card, but I hope you like it

Back when he first met Touya, he thought that it was a little... odd. Yes, odd, that´s the world he would choose.

Not the fact that the most popular kid in their class (or more than likely school) would talk to him; even though that always seemed to surprise people ('cause Touya apparently had kind of a reputation as distant and aloof), but... that said kid seemed to be so... accident prone?

For the first month of their friendship, Yukito remembered being surprised by how many "accidents" a person as athletic as Touya could have!

There was the time he was apparently "scratched" by a cat, then he also happened to be hit on the back by "an opening door", got his hand burned when a waiter accidentally "spilled coffee" on it, and twisted his ankle on a stair with a "loosen step".

It wasn´t 'til the day he saw Touya being slapped by a crying older woman (after having apparently said something to her), that... he started to wonder if there was something more to it.

 

_-TOUYA!- he had called up to him and ran to his side, not liking the idea of letting that woman hurt his friend again._  
_-Yuki...- the young Kinomoto had turned with wide eyes, being surprised by his friend's presence for the first time (since usually, he 'just knew' when people were around) -what...-_  
_-There you are- had interrupted Yukito putting an arm around his friend, suddenly feeling protective for some reason -I've been looking for you! We have to finish that project, remember?-_  
_-Yuki... what are you...-_  
_-Excuse me madame, but my friend and I have some homework to do- Yukito said turning to the woman with a bright smile, only to then start dragging his friend off there._  
_-What... Yuki!- struggled a bewildered Touya, finding his friends hold surprisingly strong -MRS INOE!- yelled the brown-haired boy to the woman still crying on the street, who turned to look at him -I´M SORRY, BUT YOUR HUSBAND REALLY WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT- He managed to tell her, before he and Yukito rounded the corner._

 

Yukito remembered doing these things, but feeling like it wasn´t really "him" Yukito Tsukishiro, doing them. It had been more like his body was on autopilot and he was just watching it move and talk from somewhere far away. In fact, he wouldn´t realize Touya had called him 'Yuki' until much later.

It hadn´t been ´til they reached the park and stood next to the Penguin King, that he actually felt like himself again, and noticed he had been dragging his friend around for almost 20 minutes.

 

_-Yuki... what was that about?- finally asked Touya when he let go of his hand_  
_-I...- Yukito tried to think on how to explain himself, but the only thing he could think about was... -You called me Yuki?- he said bewildered_  
_-I...- now it seemed, it was time for a blushed Touya to lose his words, though he recovered faster it seemed -If you don´t like it I won´t call you that again- he said as if it wasn´t a big deal, while also looking to the swings._  
_-I like it- answered Yukito without thinking, making Touya turn around and look at him once again in surprise._  
_-You do?-_  
_-Yeahp, though now I have to think about pet name for you- Yukito pondered_  
_-You don´t have to...-_  
_-How about Tou? Ouya? no...- the gray-haired one continue totally oblivious to his friend embarrassment -I got it!- he exclaimed hitting the palm of his left hand with a fist of the other one -To-ya- he said smiling at his friend- What do you say? Is it ok if I call you To-ya?- he asked his friend sweetly_  
_-Do what you want- answered a flustered Touya before looking once again to the swings_  
_-To-ya it is then- decided Tsukishiro with a big smile, only to lose it when he noticed his friend's cheek getting swollen, just where that woman... Inoe, slapped him -this looks bad- he said touching the place carefully with his right hand_  
_-I...- began Touya_  
_-You should put some ice on it before it gets worse- continue Yukito taking his friend's hand again - let´s get to your house and do that- he decided, only to have his step flatten by Touya´s reluctance to move -To-ya?- he asked, finding the brown-haired´s sight on the floor_  
_-I don´t want Dad and Sakura to-_

 

Yukito hadn´t given his friends any chance to continue and had simply proceeded to drag him along once more.

 

_-Let´s go to my house then- he had said_  
_-I don´t want to...!- Touya tried to protest_  
_-My grandparents are traveling, so it´s ok- Yukito had promised, for once glad his grandparents never seemed to be home (he never really thought too much about it back then)_

 

After that, Touya had stopped resisting and the two of them had taken the way to Yukito´s place together for the first time, and though Yukito knew it was ok to let go of his friend's hand..., he hadn´t.  
There was a certain peacefulness and comfort to it that he couldn´t quite explain, he felt it almost everytime when he saw Touya in the mornings, when they walked to school together, or simply had lunch by 'their tree', and though he didn´t want to break it...

 

_-What happened back there Touya?- he asked, taking a hold of the brown-haired´s hand again when he felt his body tense -who was that woman?-_  
_-Nobody, she...-_  
_-You don´t have to tell me if you don´t want to- Yukito hurried to say - just... know that I´m here if you ever want someone to talk about it- he assured him, turning to look at those deep brown eyes with a smile._  
_-I´m not sure you would believe me- said Touya looking to the sides once more, which Yukito sort of found.... adorable? since Touya almost never seemed vulnerable._  
_-I thought you were always sure of everything- he teased him, getting the response he wanted when the young Kinomoto looked at him a little disconcerted, only to quickly look to the side again when he saw Yukito playfully smirk at him._  
_-With you I almost never am- the brown-haired boy mumbled_  
_-Try me- said Tsukishiro_  
_-uh?-_  
_-You said you weren´t sure I´d believe you- Yukito clarified -try me-_

 

And Touya had, he would never forget the hopeful look his friend gave him when he said that, the hopeful look he had tried to hide; which made him wonder if Touya had already tried to confide in someone, only to be let down.  
Touya had told him about the things he could sense and see, how though he was pretty sure his sister could also sort of sense things, he was the only one able to see and talk to their dead mother, how that sometimes made him feel... guilty.

 

He also remembered, believing him from the beginning (and now he knew why) and trying to make him see there was no reason why he should feel like that, as well as asking him if that was why he got hurt all of the time.

 

 _'some of them can't move on unless I help them'_   Touya had answered him with a bashful look

 

 _"But why does it have to be you?"_ he remember wondering.

 

From then on, things seem to change just a little, if they were close before, it was nothing compared to how they were after that incident. Soon Yukito met Fujitaka and Sakura, started to spend evenings at the Kinomoto household as well as nights and Touya insisted on having sleepovers at Yukito´s place from time to time as if he knew how lonely he really felt from some times (and maybe he did).

Touya still got some injuries from time to time, but they were less often and also less severe since now that Yukito was aware of what was happening he tried to be there for his friend in order to make sure that Touya wouldn´t take unnecessary risks.

 

_'You need someone to look out for you while you´re looking out for everyone else'_

 

And so life had continued, Yukito still worried about Touya of course, ´cause the brown-haired boy had a tendency to bottle up things and try to deal with things on his own, not wanting to be a "burden", but at least, he had learned to read Touya and know when something was up. It was this what had let him to believe he might not be "real" or at least not human, when his fainting spells started happening and why he also kind of knew that Touya knew and was ok with it.

 

After the whole power transferal debacle, a selfish part of himself (which he was learning to relate more and more to Yue), had been actually glad, 'cause Touya no longer having his powers meant his friend wouldn´t get hurt anymore physically or emotionally and, he would finally stop feeling guilty about his mother.

 

 _'sometimes I think I´m the reason why she hasn´t move one'_ a teenage Touya had confessed.

 

So... as terrible as it sounded, Yukito had been glad Touya lost his powers, even happy he would dare say, and then.... Touya had started anticipating stuff again, Yue was for some reason upset, and now... the boy he loved was lying unconscious in his arms, with blood running down his back.

 _ **'Yue, we have to talk'**_ he sternly told his "other self"

 

 

 

 


	4. Struggling Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wakes up to the sight of an angel... or at least that´s what he thinks, ´til he sees the expression on said angel´s face. Then he thinks he might have woken up in purgatory.....

He wakes up to the sight of an angel... or at least that´s what he thinks, ´til he sees the expression on said angel´s face. Then he thinks he might have woken up on purgatory, or something along those lines.

-You´re awake- Yue says, expressing the obvious; and it´s that, more than the slight crease on his forehead which tells Touya that the Moon Guardian is pissed.  
-What happened?- Touya asked, deciding to ignore Yue´s mood for the moment  
-You decided to play the hero, and ended up causing trouble to others, like always- the moon guardian answered him while crossing his arms

 

 _"So much for ignoring his mood"_ , Touya thought to himself, looking anywhere but at Yue.

 

For the look of things, he seemed to be in the infirmary, which meant they were still on campus. That made sense he supposed since he didn´t feel his injuries were too severe. Maybe a couple of bruises and scratches here and there, but nothing else which beg the question... why was he at the infirmary? After all, the last thing he remembered was...

 

**_white and ice blue..._ **

 

Right, so he had passed out. No real surprised there since he hadn´t slept more than 2 hours, and pretty much gave his breakfast to Yuki, but still, that didn´t explain why...

-..ki wanted me to talk to you- he heard Yue, finally realizing that his sister´s guardian had apparently been talking to him all this time  
-uh?- which did nothing to prevent him from letting Yue know exactly that.

Yue´s wings rumbled (another sign that he was upset), he uncrossed his arms and walked to Touya´s side, while narrowing his eyes (beyond pissed then)

-Where you even listening to me?- he demanded  
-No- Touya answered simply, not seeing the point of lying, and also because...

Yue backed up, blinking his ice blue eyes in bewilderment, anger momentarily forgot; just like Touya had expected him to do since the moon guardian always seemed out of sorts when people answered his questions without guile. Leaving him looking kind of... cute? in his confusion.

 

-Are you feeling faint?-asked the blue-eyed one, holding Touya´s face in place with his right hand, seemingly to check his sight and complexion, much like Yuki did when...  
-No- answered Touya again, this time moving his head in order to not let Yue see the blush he was unable to stop.  
-You sure?- he could feel the moon guardian narrowing his eyes even more (if that was possible).  
-Yeah- the young Kinomoto asked looking at the ´angel´ once again after feeling him let go of his face and backing up a little -why are you here anyway?-

He hadn´t meant for the question to come out as rude as it probably had, given Yue´s suddenly blank expression.

-I already told you- the blue-eyed ´angel´ answered, now being him the one to avoid Touya´s eyes -you were not paying attention- he said recovering immediately, looking at the brown-haired boy with a scolding look.  
-No, what I meant was...- Touya tried to correct himself  
-Yukito was worried after you collapsed- Yue interrupted him  
-You mean YOU were worried- corrected Touya  
-We have already talked about this- stated Yue right out glaring at Touya  
-Stil doesn´t make it less true- countered Kinomoto glaring right back -otherwise, you wouldn´t even be here-  
-I´m only here, because Yukito was...-  
-Yeah, yeah, because Yuki, who is your other self, was worried which means YOU were worried- Touya interrupted him again

It just lasted a second, but for a moment there, Touya though the moon guardian was going to lash away, just like...

 

_"THE MISTRESS SHOULD BE MY PRIORITY! NO..."_

 

But Yue seemingly remembered that night, just as Touya did, ´cause when he next looked at him, the moon guardian, immediately backed up

-Touya- he called patiently. And how much did Touya hate that tone of voice, when the moon guardian decided to talk to him as if he were a mere child (and maybe he was, maybe Yuki...) -just because Yukito and I share the same body, doesn´t mean we´re the same person- he tried to explain  
-Except you are- denied Kinomoto fiercely  
-Touya...-  
-You are, you have always been. This is not a case of split personalities, not really- Touya stated -I told you I saw you in Yuki, just as I have seen Yuki in you, at your core you´re the same person, you are just-  
-We are not!-Yue might have as well shouted by the way his tone a body language changed -I told you, Cerberus and the Mistress, my fake form was kept for such a long time, that Yukito ended up becoming his own person, he´s not less real than I am-  
-Never said he was- tried to argue Touya, but Yue didn´t seem to hear him  
-I might have his memories, but he doesn´t have mine. He doesn´t have my experiences, he´s not me!- he stated -We don´t feel the same, ´cause we are not the same person!-  
-So you claim that because you were split for so long, that messed you up and you are not Yuki, you don´t feel the same as Yuki?- Touya asked  
-Yes! I already told you this!- Yue´s wings rumbled again  
-Then... how does that work?- Touya asked him softly, looking right into Yue´s eyes  
-What?-  
-How does that work? Wasn´t Clow plan from the get-go to make Sakura the Mistress?-  
-Yes...-  
-And for you to get close to me in order to get close her-  
-You already know this, why are you...?-  
-Wasn´t that part of his plan?- insisted Touya  
-Yes...-  
-And for you to fall in love with her- Touya asked solemnly  
-Yes...-  
-So... it was Clow´s plan for Yukito to exist as long as he did right from the beginning, and it was Clow´s plan for YOU, not just Yukito to fall in love with her-  
-Touya...- Yue tried to stop him, already knowing where this would be going  
-So tell me Moon Guardian, how would that be possible if you and Yuki were not the same person?  
-.....-  
-That´s what I thought- the brown-eyed boy answered, moving the sheets away from his body and getting out of the bed, not without some difficulty. Touya then walked slowly to infirmary´s door, picked the backpack he recognized as his from the chair next to it, intending to leave the room -I´ll be going home by myself today-

And just like that, he left, leaving a stunted angel on his way.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thank you guys for all your kudos and comments. It really makes me glad someone´s reading my fic. and actually enjoying it :D  
> Anyhow, this chapter took me a while, mainly because I´m still unsure where I´m going with this plot bunny, and therefore was unsure of how to go with this one (originally it was supposed to be from Yue´s POV, but I guess that would have to wait).  
> So..., thanks for sticking with it, I promise will try for next chapter moves the plot further? Anyway hope you enjoy this one.


	5. Moon's Hindsight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, there had been just confusion. One moment there was sadness and that crushing feeling in his heart that told him, nothing would be alright again, and then... Then, he had found himself out of the darkness, into a beautiful dream, a beautiful dream, where an equally beautiful boy took his hand...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> So sorry for the long delay, I don't know if people are still interested in this fic but here's a new chapter anyway.  
> I had a really hard time writing this one 'cause halfway through I just lost my muse, but... I think now I have a better idea of where this is going, so the next couple of chapters should be more plot-driven, or at least that's what I hope.  
> Anyhow once again just a reminder that I'm not a native English speaker and I have no beta reader, but comments and feedback are more than welcome and actually looked forward :D  
> Happy reading.

He had to fight off the urge to reach out to Tou... to reach out to the mistress' brother and hold him up close, just as he did when...

He had to fight off the urge to run after him and try to shake some sense into him, to demand some answers, to demand he ... So fight it off he did; even when his whole being was yelling at him to go after him, to not leave him alone, and make sure that... that he was ok.

 

-He's just a boy- he reminds himself from the up tenth time since he met him -just a boy...-

 

A silly boy who thought he knew better, a stupid boy who thought he had him figured out, who..., who...

Who had look so much like Clow when he first met him, that for a fleeting moment, he had let himself believe that... that his... that Clow had...

 

-so stupid- he mumbled to himself

 

Just to have it all crash down on him, when the boy under the peach tree had turned around and...  


In the beginning, there had been just confusion. One moment there was sadness and that crushing feeling in his heart that told him, nothing would be alright again, and then... Then, he had found himself out of the darkness, into a beautiful dream, a beautiful dream, where an equally beautiful boy took his hand, treat him with the utmost kindness, and somehow managed to make him feel that there was hope, who made him feel like... like he wasn't alone.

 

The moon guardian turned his gaze from the door Touya had just walked through, to the window where once again the sakuras were falling.

He didn't want to admit it but..., a part of what Touya had said...

Maybe, there was a part of what Touya had said that..., that was true.

 

 

_-I told you I saw you in Yuki, just as I have seen Yuki in you, at your core you're the same person, you are just-_

 

 

So... ~~To-ya~~  Touya might be on to something, but the thing was that, even if that were to be true, even if he happened to be right...

 

-I can't admit it Touya, you should know that- whispered to himself sadly

 

Because admitting that Touya had been right would mean..., would mean...

 

That was why it was easier to be Yukito Tsukishiro. To hide himself behind the rimmed glasses of his "other self". To fold his wings and just pretend, pretend he had had loving grandparents, that he had never known heartbreak, didn't know about hate, that he..., that he...

 

The silver-haired moon guardian closed his eyes and fisted his hands in frustration. The mistress' brother wasn't right, couldn't be right he finally decided, opening his eyes with determination.

Bad enough was the fact that his other-self feelings had gotten in the way of his duty, to the point that the first thing he had done when he suddenly felt reality about to collapse was spread his wings and fly as fast as he could to the place where he could feel HIM ('cause he always could), to where the brown-haired boy he... to where Touya Kinomoto was.

  
So, no. Touya was wrong, he and Yukito were not the same person, they were completely different people, they didn't... they didn't feel the same.

The only reason he was so invested in ~~To-ya's~~  Touya's well being was because Yukito cared, because he was important to his other-self and because he owns him.

 

-I will get to the bottom of this Touya- Yue promised himself folding his wings -like it or not, I will find out what's going on, and what you're hiding- he decided

 

He would do it for Yukito's sake, 'cause he wanted his other-self to be happy, to keep living as he had, but also...

 

  
_"_ THE _MISTRESS SHOULD BE MY PRIORITY! NO..."_

 

 

But also as an apology to the boy who..., to the boy who though got on his nerves, had given him so much without even knowing it.

 

 

 


	6. Tempest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was something..., something about this man that... unnerved him, that made him react in ways he couldn't and didn't want to understand, that made him question himself and his feelings for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> I know I took a really long time, but for some reason even though I finally have the outline for every chapter and the story, this chapter just wouldn't work how I wanted it to.  
> In the end, I had to go with the flow and change what I have planned so... hopefully it worked and the Yukito and Touya aren't that out of character.  
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed. Any feedback is really appreciated.

He had left the infirmary feeling somehow righteous and vindicated; but as he tried to do his best to not stumble his way around, he couldn't help but regret what he had done, 'cause... though Yue disagreed, he did know him, and he knew, he knew the real reason why the moon guardian couldn't accept himself fully.

 

-Clow...- he mumbled to himself while clenching his fist briefly, only to unclench them immediately.

 

It was selfish and insensitive of him to have so much... resentment against a man long gone, long dead. But he couldn't help it!

Not when he saw Yue's sad frame, not when he heard the heartbreak in his voice, not when he couldn't even see the loneliness and grief in Yukito's eyes when he knew that the only reason why they couldn't be together was...

 

-Clow- he mumbled again with bitterness, for once letting his voice carry all he felt.

 

-Who's Clow?- someone whispered smoothly behind the brown-haired young man, almost making him jump in surprise. Making Touya realize he had stopped at some moment right by the entrance of the school building.  
-None of your business Igarashi- He muttered without turning around, after all, there were few people taller than him, even if only by an inch or so.  
-Neh Touya, don't be like that- the young man named Igarashi said, circling around the young Kinomoto, 'til he finally found himself face to face with the brown-eyed boy -Especially after I took the time to look for you so we could start working on our project- continued the golden-haired boy, smiling at Touya cockily, making the young Kinomoto look to the side, trying to hide his reddening face.

 

There was something..., something about this man that... unnerved him, that made him react in ways he couldn't and didn't want to understand, that made him question himself and his feelings for...

 

 _"No!"_ something within him yelled loudly, taking him out of his stupor, and making him shake his head.

 

He knew who he was, and he knew how he felt, and those thoughts, those doubts, were not really of his own. They were just the effects of whatever Igarashi had going, of being around him without Yuki by his side, just like...

 

  
_Skye blue orbs looking at him as if he were something unique, something special; golden tips kissing his forehead, soft pale hands holding his chin in place, caressing his lips, while equally soft looking lips closed into..._

 

  
-TO-YA!- once again, the young Kinomoto found himself being shaken into reality, this time by Yuki nonetheless, who seemed to hurry to his side, which only made him blink in confusion after noticing the position he finds himself in.

 

Back to the wall beside the entrance, Igarashi in front of him, caging him in with his arms, and his forehead resting against his own, making their cobalt an golden locks interwind.

 

-And what do you think you're doing?- he asks carefully enunciating each word while narrowing his eyes at the man in front of him.  
-Checking for a fever- the blond answers him with a carefree smile, smiling oblivious (or simply not carrying) to Touya's irritation -I heard you were in the infirmary, are you sure you should be up and about after what happened?- he asked, seemingly concerned  
-How...-  
-No, he shouldn't- Yukito answered, appearing suddenly by his side and taking his arm -which is why I'll be taking him home now, so don't worry about it Iragashi- he continued smiling sweetly at the blond, perhaps to sweetly since his smile seemed to be a little bit, strained?  
-Ah! Tsukishiro!- the blue-eyed boy greeted happily -I was starting to wonder where you were. It was weird finding Touya trying to not limp his way around school without you by his side- he said amicably, which for some reason just made Yuki's smile even more strained.  
-Yeah, well I had to let some teachers know we would be leaving-  
-I see, won't you have trouble with Hirokawa sensei for missing his class?- Igarashi asked while Touya couldn't do anything but watch this seemingly friendly conversation that for some reason felt anything but to him -I'm pretty much done for the day, I only have independent studies, so... I could take Touya home instead- he smiled  
-That really won't be necessary- more strained smile -As I told you I already informed the professors-  
-Are you sure? It wouldn't be a problem, and I still have to talk to Touya about our project-  
-What project?- asked Touya  
-Really sure thanks, besides Touya, is not in any condition to be talking school work right now-  
-Oh! Yeah, you're right, but still, the offer is up-  
-What project?- Touya insisted, trying to make himself heard  
-Thank you Iragashi, but I really think it would be better if I take Touya home-  
-if you're sure?-  
-What project?- Touya's eye started to twitch  
-Yeah, I'm sure-  
-IRAGASHI!- he did his best to not yell, making the two boys finally look at him -what project?- he enunciated carefully  
-Ah! Yeah, the social studies one- the blond explained but that didn't seem to explain anything to the young Kinomoto since he still looked confused -obviously, you weren't in class because of what happened, but Minako sensei assigned a pair project for the mid-semester evaluation, and since you were not in class, I offer myself as your partner- the smiled to Touya's and seemingly also Yuki's dismay.

 

In the end, Touya simply sighed and massaged his nose bridge in defeat.

 

-When is the project due?- he asked, not daring to look at Yukito for some reason  
\- By the end of the month- Igarashi answered smiling broadly  
-Ok, we'll start working on it tomorrow- he said sighing again  
-Does that mean I'll finally get to see the Kinomoto House?- the blue-eyed boy asked with a wide smile, to which Touya found himself almost unable to not grin  
-You wish- he smirked instead, already knowing which would be the boy's reaction  
-Oh, come on Touya!- the blond whined, making Touya grin playfully, ready to tease him some more, but unfortunately or fortunately if the suspiciously shadow like wings rumbling at Yuki's back seemed to indicate; they were interrupted by a seemingly hurried black haired boy dragging his brown-haired friend into the building.

 

-Come on Arata! Hurry! Or there won't be any...-  
-Oh! Don't worry there's still plenty of chocolate cake at the cafeteria- Igarashi said to the dark haired boy, with a certain gleam in his eyes.  
-Really?!- the boy asked looking at Igarashi with sparkling hope in his eyes  
-Yeahp- the blond answered with a friendly smile, which for some reason sent cold shivers down Touya's back  
-See Taichi, there was no need for you drag me all the way from the gym- Arata told his friend with some exasperation  
-Yeah, sorry Arata- Taichi told his friend looking somehow embarrassed - is just that you know that for some reason or another I never seem to be able to eat any of the school's chocolate cake specialty- the boy cried dramatically to his friend's chagrin, and suddenly, suddenly Touya "knew".  
-Well, hurry then- Iragashi insisted, the gleam in his eyes suddenly brighter -It's a crime you have never tried that cake- he continued while Taichi's face became more and more longing, causing a fine shine of sweat to cover Touya's back in dread -it's simply delicious, right Tsukishiro?- the blond said smiling broadly now in Yuki's direction  
-He wouldn't know!- Touya hurried to say before Yuki could answer -He´s terribly allergic to peanut butter- he felt compelled to said while begging Yukito with his eyes to not give up his lie  
-Oh! It has peanut butter- Taichi whispered disillusioned  
-Well, Taichi, it seems it was for the best you never ate it before- Arata said, putting a consoling arm around his friend  
-Why?- Igarashi asked -Doesn't he like peanut butter?- he asked, side-eyeing Touya, the gleam in his eyes dying out.  
-He's severely allergic to it- the brown haired boy answered.

 

*

 

*

 

*

 

*

 

*

 

The walk back home was unusual, and not only 'cause Yuki insisted on carrying his bag, along with must of his weight, but also because for once neither Yuki nor him were talking, and that more than everything that had happened during the day bothered Touya to no end.

-Yuki- He finally dared to call when they reached the park, where he saw a woman walk by, with her baby in a stroller -Are you ok?- he asked, seemingly catching his friend by surprise, only to then have him smile at him with that... that smile  
-Shouldn't I be the one asking you that To-ya?- asked the bespectacled boy -you were unconscious for a long time- he finished with a worried frown on his usually cheerful face  
-I'm alright Yuki- at gray-haired boy's incredulous face he continued - really, the hit wasn't that hard-  
-I had to carry you to the infirmary To-ya, and you were out cold for several hours- the gray-haired boy insisted, not whiling to let Touya make light of what happened  
-It wasn't just the flowerpot Yuki- he finally admitted -I was also kind of tired- he confessed, looking to the side while they closed on the bridge, not wanting to see Yuki's face when he told him -I... had a dream- he revealed, making his friend stop, just before going up the bridge, where the same woman they saw at the entrance with the stroller made her best to try and cross it and some workers were carrying their construction tools through.  
-What kind of dream?- asked Yukito, letting go of his arm, while he tried to move around and look him on the eyes -do you mean like...- whatever Yuki was about to ask him (and he was pretty sure he knew what it was) went unheard though, 'cause for what it seemed like the umpteenth time to Touya, he felt goosebumps climb up his arms.

 

But unlike all the other times he had felt that feeling of impending doom, this time, this time he could swear he saw like in slow motion, a kind of... creature? made of shadows with green cat eyes push the man who was carrying a metal ladder, making him trip and spin around, unknowingly turning the ladder in the direction of the unsuspecting mother who was pushing the stroller with her baby through the bridge.

 

So once again, Touya Kinomoto found himself running, with Yukito shouting his name behind him; while he begged to all the spirits around for help, so he could make it in time.

 

Again, the pain that came after pushing the woman and her baby out of the way wasn't unexpected, but the sudden rush of air and void feeling under him were, along with the cold shock of water, and the feeling of icy cold liquid rushing through his mouth and nose, to his lungs.

 

He could see the setting sun through the clear waters of the river, as well as the shape of someone rushing to his side, but in reality, although he thought he could almost hear Yuki shouting for him, all of his attention was focused on the smoky creature sitting on the railing of the bridge, looking smiling wickedly at him.

 

**_Maybe, he should have talked to Yue..._ **

 

  


 


End file.
